Tying Purple Shoes, pt. 1.

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INT. PRESCHOOL CLASSROOM — DAY

A gaggle of four year olds, including MY FOUR YEAR OLD, sit fidgeting on a carpet. Two preschool TEACHERS, one sitting spryly on the floor, the other sitting heavily in a chair, are sharing circle time with the 4 year olds.

TEACHER IN CHAIR: So who would like to share today?

FOUR YEAR OLDS: (Hands shooting into the air) MEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!!

TEACHER IN CHAIR: Good! So let’s —

RANDOM FOUR YEAR OLD: Look how high I can jump!

(demonstrates)

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Ooo, OK. You can show us during gym time, but now it’s talking time–

RANDOM FOUR YEAR OLD: It doesn’t hurt when I do this!

(does something weird)

TEACHER IN CHAIR: Oh, my, well OK.

ALL OTHER FOUR YEAR OLDS, INCLUDING MINE: I can do that too, see!

(they mimic the weird thing)

TEACHER ON FLOOR: OK, boys and girls now let’s not injure ourselves before snack time.

TEACHER IN CHAIR: Who wants to share with us what their Daddy does for his job?

ALL FOUR YEAR OLDS, INCLUDING MINE: (Hands shooting into the air) MEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!!

TEACHER IN CHAIR: OK, so let’s start…. over here.

(points to random FOUR YEAR OLD. A chorus of disappointed “awww’s” reverberate around the circle)

FIRST FOUR YEAR OLD: Doctor!

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Ooo, Doctor.

SECOND FOUR YEAR OLD: Mine goes to a biiiig office!

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Ah, business man–

SECOND FOUR YEAR OLD: Yep and he bought Mommy a boat!

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Wow!

SECOND FOUR YEAR OLD: Now we have TWO!

THIRD FOUR YEAR OLD: My Daddy’s a soldier!

TEACHER IN CHAIR: Now one at a time, and take your finger out of his mouth, please.

FOURTH FOUR YEAR OLD: My Daddy’s a social worker!

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Oh! What does a social worker do?

FOURTH FOUR YEAR OLD: Don’t know! I can touch my ears to my foot!

TEACHER ON CHAIR: Now, sit down please. Raise hands.

(little hands shoot into the air)

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Go ahead.

FIFTH FOUR YEAR OLD: Arky tack.

TEACHER ON FLOOR: I don’t know what that means. Who else-

FIFTH FOUR YEAR OLD: Arcky. TACK!

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Saying it louder doesn’t actually help.

FIFTH FOUR YEAR OLD (Clearly indignant): My. Daddy. IS AN ARKY TACK!!!

TEACHER ON FLOOR: An … oh oh oh an architect!

FIFTH FOUR YEAR OLD: I said that.

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Oh, how exciting.

MY FOUR YEAR OLD (throwing her hand up in the air) I WANNA DO IT!!!!

TEACHER IN CHAIR: Ok, honey, but use the inside voice, please. What is your Daddy’s job?

MY FOUR YEAR OLD: Um. Ok. (she stands up to address the group) My Daddy’s job is to help me tie my purple new shoes because they are a lil bit too big for me.

TEACHER ON FLOOR: Aww, aren’t Daddies helpful? And what else does your Daddy do?

MY FOUR YEAR OLD: Um. (shrugs) That is all.

(she sits back down.)

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Tying Purple Shoes, pt.2 coming soon!

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